Phew. Being a Dad is no joke and some days are just much harder than others. This evening was one of those harder times, and I’ve had a couple others like that recently, too.
Sometimes one of the kids will do something will send me spiraling and I’ll have a hard time getting back in control. A few days ago it was something getting stuck in a window that made it unable to be closed. I started to scold and get all upset until I found a very simple way to fix the problem. But during those minutes of being upset, I created some pretty bad feelings in Louisa, which was all completely unnecessary.
Anyway, this evening was another example of that. I took the kids to the park and brought our kite along to see if we could get it to fly. It’s a two-string kite and the strings got all twisted together as I was unrolling them. And then the wind wasn’t consistent, and the kids were asking to fly it first and not being particularly patient (god forbid they be excited), and, and, and… I started to spiral again and was particularly impatient with Louisa (again, poor girl). That set me off for the next hour just really being an ass to all of the kids and not being any fun to be around.
Once I regained some control, I apologized to them but I can’t stop thinking about how awful I must have made them feel. Sure, apologizing is important and I do it often, but I’d prefer not acting like a miserable jerk in the first place, personally.
They’re such great kids and I try very hard to be a great dad and when I fail, it sticks with me.
At the park, Louisa climbed higher than I’ve ever seen her climb this tree. It’s her favorite to climb and she’s just a master at it. I couldn’t believe how high she was – like only a few branches from the absolute top.
This picture is of Jack climbing the same tree – I didn’t get a picture of Louisa climbing it today. Juggling 4 kids as it’s starting to rain and you’re in a bad mood allow for many pictures to be taken.
We ultimately did get the kite up in the air, though, and the kids are really doing great with it. Louisa didn’t want to fly it, though, and I’m sure it’s because of how I was treating her at the beginning. Sorry, Louisa. I’m trying, my dear.